Author Archives: Lorraine

Being more mindful

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Living more mindfully

What is mindfulness? It means slowing down and being aware of everything that is around you and living and enjoying the present. It is about living in the present without judgment and not spending time focussing always on the future.

Mindfulness is used around the world in business, schools, hospitals and within sport.

If you want to be more fully aware and improve the quality of your life and be happier mindfulness can help you.

My six tips to get you started:

Do one thing at a time. Stop multi-tasking and do one task at a time and do it well.   Enjoy doing it. You will be more productive.

  1.  Enjoy nature, nature helps us to heal, so go for a walk, dig the garden, walk the dog  but enjoy the environment and see the beauty in it without judgment.
  2.  Don’t worry about the future, live in the now and make the most of it. Happy people  live in the present.
  3.  Listen actively, so when talking to someone, listen to what they are saying and don’t let your mind wander to what you need to do next. Be present and enjoy your conversation. The small things can make a huge difference  to other people’s lives and your own too.
  4. Eat slowly and enjoy your food
  5. Spend 5 minutes every day sitting quietly and doing nothing, clear your mind and enjoy the peace.
  6. Live slowly and stop rushing around, as you live more slowly you will become more aware of what is going on around you.

Much has been written about mindfulness and the benefits to individuals are huge in terms of health, feeling less stressed etc. Read about it and see if it feels right for you.

I live mindfully and it has changed the way I think, the way I live and my view of life.

If you want help to live more mindfully and make life changes and you think having your own coach will help then contact me

 

Your Life Your Journey and Your Happiness

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Your Life Your Journey and Your Happiness

We all want to be happy, and our lives to be filled with happiness and laughter. If we are not content with our lives now we often have a goal for the future and we believe that happiness will come when we get that goal.

The majority of people are always searching for happiness.

Happiness will not come when you reach your goal. Happiness is right here now in front of you, it’s in the everyday things you do, the people you meet, your environment.

Why are so many people searching for happiness and not seeing it? Happiness is a state of mind and it is how you view life. Stop searching for happiness and start making your own happiness.

Happiness

Happiness is…

My tips for being happy?

  1.   Have a positive mindset and look at the glass half-full instead of half-empty.
  2.   Ring a friend you haven’t seen in a long time
  3.   See the good around you  – it is there around all of us, appreciate nature
  4.   Set aside your ego and stop trying to control things that you have no control over
  5.   Make a point of doing things that you really love, going for a walk, reading etc.    whatever you like
  6.   Keeping away from negative people
  7.   Not getting involved in negative conversations – walking away from them or trying    to change them to be more positive
  8.   Doing something good for somebody every day
  9.  Look for the good in everything you do
  10. Eat a balanced diet and exercise regularly

Being happy is a continual process and you always need to work on it, it is life enhancing and will make a huge difference to your life and those around you.

Start now and make a note of what makes you happy now!

If you want the help of a life coach contact me

 

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

New Year Resolutions to Change your Life

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Have you set your New Year resolutions? Are they realistic and achievable?New Year Resolution

As a Life Coach, I suggest you rate your goals on a scale of 1-10, with 10 being most likely to achieve. Once you have rated each of your goals, work on the ones where you can start to have some success quickly.

For the Resolutions that are scaled at the bottom, where you need to do a lot of work to achieve them, I suggest you develop a plan.

 Key Things I Recommend

  1.  When your goals are big, break them down in to small achievable steps and work on them one at a time
  2. Look at your language and how you communicate, language can be limiting and often we don’t realise how we come across.
  3. Don’t engage in negative conversations with others, walk away or change the subject.
  4. Many people live in fear, sometimes it is fear of change, so they prefer to do nothing and remain the same. Why not make small changes at first, and once you see the benefits of these changes, you can start to make more. We all fear things bite the bullet and take action.
  5. Look at people you admire and respect in your network and observe how they operate. Learn from them. Get advice from them.
  6. Mix with people who are positive and love life. They are a catalyst and other positive people are drawn to them.

Life is not a dressed rehearsal, live the life you want!

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life” (Steve Jobs )

Image courtesy of Rawich at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

 

Beyond IVF mentoring programme

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I have developed a Beyond IVF mentoring programme together with Cecile Trijssenaar who is an International Adoption expert.

Beyond IVF mentoring programme

The programme provides support to those who are ‘stuck’ and really don’t know what direction to take. Details are here:

Beyond IVF mentoring programme

Paralysed by Fear

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Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Did you know that people spend on average two years just thinking about International Adoption? Are you paralysed by fear?

When I think about it and the sorts of fears/concerns people have I realize that the thoughts are quite irrational and bear no relation to the reality. Sometimes you just need to take the plunge and see where this journey in your life takes you.

Find support whether it be individual coaching support  or group support.

Start your journey now.

What is stopping you?

Feel free to add comments to this post, or get in touch.

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Are you a Realistic Optimist?

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Are you a Realistic Optimist?

A realistic optimist firmly believes that things will change generally for the better. They also believe they have control of their lives.

Realistic optimism is about the ability to maintain a positive outlook without denying reality, actively appreciating the positive aspects of a situation without ignoring the negative aspect.

(Reivich, 2003)

Realistic optimists don’t live in a ‘Pollyanna’ world they have a healthy balanced approach towards life.

Are you a realistic optimist? Share your experience!

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Reducing Stress

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Reducing Stress

Here are some tips for reducing stress

Be prepared

Prepare as much in advance. This can be cooking, cleaning, shopping or decorating will ease the load

Perspective

Keep things in perspective

 When something causes you stress,

ask yourself ‘Does this really matter?’

Minimise stressful situations when possible,

if you don’t like to have too many people in your home during this time, limit the number who can come.

Say No

Don’t be afraid to no. You are in control of what is happening in your life.

Take a Break

Even if its 10 minutes for a coffee, taking time out for you will make you feel refreshed

Breath deeply

Practice breathing deeply.

Exercise

relieves stress, gets rid of negative feelings and improves your fitness.

What tips have you got for reducing stress? Tell me about a time you were under stress and how you dealt with it.

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Relationships

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Connecting with others creates great growth both emotionally and spiritually. People who have strong relationships with others, whether it be family, friends, colleagues, groups, etc tend to live longer, happier and healthier lives. Each relationship brings something different in to our lives, the more open you are to develop these links, the more you enhance them and hence it will increase your level of happiness.

Who matters most to you? Do you take your relationships for granted or do you try to enhance them, so both of you get the most out of it?

Our Perception of Reality

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Our limited perception of reality limits what we understand of ourselves and others.  We all live in our own stories and we think that the stories are a reflection of who we are. When something comes along to change our story and we don’t like the way it is evolving, our life starts to hurt.
Live your life your way.

You are not alone

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You are not alone when adopting internationally, here are some statistics:

Over the last decade, U.S. families have adopted on average approximately 20,000 children from foreign nations each year.
Source
http://adoption.state.gov/adoption_process/what.php

How important is International Adoption to you?

The stats for the UK are mentioned in the previous post

The Hague Convention

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What is The Hague Convention?

The Hague Convention sets international standards for inter-country adoptions.

To read more about it go to:

http://adoption.state.gov/hague_convention/overview.php

Do you know which countries are signatories to the Hague Convention? How does this affect you?

 

Homestudy

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The homestudy is a process that provides a picture of the potential and adoptive parents.
Some facts:

  •  Your Social Worker will complete the homestudy
  •  It can take several weeks to several months to complete
  •  You  will need letters from your current employers and possibly some previous employers
  •  You will need a health assessment
  •  Letters of reference
  •  Financial statements
  • A series of visits to your home by your Social Worker

The documentation requirements vary according to where you live and to which country you want to adopt from. When the homestudy is complete, your Social Worker will prepare a report about you and your family.

Many people get caught up in thinking the Social Worker is coming to see how clean and tidy your home is. This is not the case, they need to get to know you.
Don’t agonise over your house, remember it is a home…….

What advice would you give to somebody starting out on their Home Study?