Well being

How to Improve Your Relationships

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Relationships

When you have great relationships in your life you will be happier. Whether it is your partner, your family or your friends you will always need to work and improve those relaWhen you have great relationships in your life you will be happier. Whether it is your partner, your family or your friends you will always need to work and improve those relationships. Many often take them for granted and thWhen you have great relationships in your life you will be happier. Whether it is your partner, your family or your friends you will always need to work and improve those relationships. Many often take them for granted and this can lead to complacency.is can lead to complacency.tionships. Many often take them for granted and this can lead to complacency.

Relationships

Here are my top tips to develop a great relationship

·      Don’t monopolise the conversation – make it about the other person.

 When you monopolise the conversation you are making it about you. As soon as you do this the other person will start to drift away and lose interest. Your aim should be to listen more than you speak. If you think of the conversation as 100% between you and the other person, you should aim to listen 70% of the time.

We have all met people who talk endlessly about something that is of no interest to us and others who just monopolise the conversation and make it about themselves.

·      Show an interest in the other person.

Ask the other person open-ended questions. 

When you ask questions it shows you are interested in the other person and helps them to connect with you.  Ask about family, friends and jobs etc. An open-ended question is a question that does not need a yes or no answer.

Ask them an open-ended question about something that you notice about them. This creates a better depth in the conversation. Show interest in this person and find out what interests them. Ask someone how they think or feel about something that they are talking about.

 Pay them a compliment and give positive sincere feedback.

·      Be present and attentive when listening to somebody.

The key word in the previous sentence is present. Listen to what they say without interrupting or thinking how you should respond. Listening well strengthens a relationship as people feel that you care.

Actively listen to the other person. I have met people who are talking to me and they look as though they are listening but they have that faraway look in their eyes, you know they are not listening but thinking of something else.

If you struggle with active listening practice on your family and keep tryingWhen you have great relationships in your life you will be happier. Whether it is your partner, your family or your friends you will always need to work and improve those relationships. Many often take them for granted and this can lead to complacency. to bring your mind back to the present. With practice you will get better.

 ·      Be understanding and compassionate. 

Good relationships require compassion and understanding for each other. Using perspective, try to understand where the other person is coming from even if you have a different opinion. Talk to them from the heart in a calm and kind way.

You can say something like, “I really understand why you are so frustrated and why you are upset. What can I do to help?”

 ·      Spend more time with the person.When you have great relationships in your life you will be happier. Whether it is your partner, your family or your friends you will always need to work and improve those relationships. Many often take them for granted and this can lead to complacency.

Spend extra time with the person that you want to improve your relationship with. Work around their schedule and meet up for a meal, go for a walk together. The fact that you are trying will make a difference and hopefully improve it.

Lorraine’s last minute advice

Don’t get angry, remain calm

Breathe deeply

Don’t judge, don’t blame

Walk away if you are getting angry

If you want more help with your relationships I can provide personal coaching.

Be the Best Version of Yourself

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So you want to be the best version of you!

be the best version of yourselflife is a journey.
Life is a journey

Life is a journey and is a continual learning process. Getting the most out of the journey you are on depends on you.

Follow the joy in your life and you will find your true purpose.

I read once that we have two choices in life, we follow our heart and we are always happy or we follow our ego and we are never happy.

First take a few minutes to look at some areas of your life:

  • Emotional self,
  • Spiritual self,
  • Intellectual self,
  • Professional self,
  • Physical self, and
  • Diet

On a scale of 1 to10 with 10 being the most developed and 1 being the least developed rate yourself in each of the above areas.

 Are these scores a surprise or a shock? Do you want to improve some areas of your life and don’t know where to start.

Some things to reflect on

Let go of the ego. The ego is the chattering voice in your head…………

Slow things down in your life and enjoy the here and now.

Be mindful in the moment and that means enjoy whatever you are doing and being really grateful.

If you follow your instinct you will know what is right for you to do. The more you listen and follow your instincts from your heart the happier you will become.

Beware of external influences which will take you off your path.

It is your life to follow and your journey, and

Never compare yourself to others as it will make you vain or bitter.

Actions to Improve your Version of You

Here are some things you can be doing to improve yourself:

Take small steps towards your goal. If you wanted to change job it could be simply doing some research about what you need.

Use the internet to help you search. Also Remember there are 7 billion people in the world. You are not alone.

·Accept help from friends and family. Don’t put up barriers and fully utilize your network.

Don’t get side tracked by social media. This is your journey and not somebody else’s.

you are great! Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

Help others to become their best version too.

Look at the big picture of where you want to be and keep taking steps.

Good luck in becoming the new version of you. If you want or need some coaching to help you get to the best version of you, contact me via this page

You are great.

Let’s help you find a happier life.

Confidence, Self Esteem and Life coaching : lorrainec.com

Are you procrastinating?

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Procrastinating

We all procrastinate at some point in our lives. We waste so much time procrastinating when it happens, and we do it because we don’t like or want to do the task that we need to do to be able to move forward.

You ultimately have the responsibility to plan your actions and goals, don’t be afraid to get help if things become overwhelming. A good idea is to write down why you procrastinate and what strategies you use to avoid doing the things you need to do.

Here are some of the common reasons why we justify our procrastination:

Avoidance and Distraction

We avoid situations or tasks that we do not want to deal with. We find other things to do so this provides us with a reason for why we did not do the task we needed to do e.g. we did not make the call because we thought the person might not have the answer.

External Factors

We often blame external factors which we deem as beyond our control e.g. I can’t exercise as I am overworked.

Denial

We convince ourselves that the task we have chosen to do is more important than the task we are avoiding doing.

Here are some strategies you may wish to use to avoid procrastinating:

Break Down Large Projects into Smaller Tasks

It is less daunting if you break down a task into smaller tasks. Decide when and where you will do these and gradually work through them.

Identifying Priorities

Identify what you have to do and by when. Put the most important at the top. Sometimes when we have things to do that we don’t want to do we do other less important tasks first.

Arrange a Time for Tasks

Set aside time when you will do each task and decide how long you think it will take. Putting off doing a task because you need a long time to do it creates unnecessary stress. Don’t delay do it now.

Organise help if you need it

If you have a task and you are unsure about  how to do it or don’t know how to approach it, talk to somebody about it. Help is all around us, our friends, colleagues and family are also a valuable source of help.

Just Do It

The temptation is to put off tasks because we believe that we will be able to do a better job of things if we wait until the time is right. There is never going to be a perfect time because we will always have competing tasks, so just do it and don’t delay.

Confidence, Self Esteem and Life coaching

New Year Resolution

Being more mindful

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Living more mindfully

What is mindfulness? It means slowing down and being aware of everything that is around you and living and enjoying the present. It is about living in the present without judgment and not spending time focussing always on the future.

Mindfulness is used around the world in business, schools, hospitals and within sport.

If you want to be more fully aware and improve the quality of your life and be happier mindfulness can help you.

My six tips to get you started:

Do one thing at a time. Stop multi-tasking and do one task at a time and do it well.   Enjoy doing it. You will be more productive.

  1.  Enjoy nature, nature helps us to heal, so go for a walk, dig the garden, walk the dog  but enjoy the environment and see the beauty in it without judgment.
  2.  Don’t worry about the future, live in the now and make the most of it. Happy people  live in the present.
  3.  Listen actively, so when talking to someone, listen to what they are saying and don’t let your mind wander to what you need to do next. Be present and enjoy your conversation. The small things can make a huge difference  to other people’s lives and your own too.
  4. Eat slowly and enjoy your food
  5. Spend 5 minutes every day sitting quietly and doing nothing, clear your mind and enjoy the peace.
  6. Live slowly and stop rushing around, as you live more slowly you will become more aware of what is going on around you.

Much has been written about mindfulness and the benefits to individuals are huge in terms of health, feeling less stressed etc. Read about it and see if it feels right for you.

I live mindfully and it has changed the way I think, the way I live and my view of life.

If you want help to live more mindfully and make life changes and you think having your own coach will help then contact me

 

Are you a Realistic Optimist?

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Are you a Realistic Optimist?

A realistic optimist firmly believes that things will change generally for the better. They also believe they have control of their lives.

Realistic optimism is about the ability to maintain a positive outlook without denying reality, actively appreciating the positive aspects of a situation without ignoring the negative aspect.

(Reivich, 2003)

Realistic optimists don’t live in a ‘Pollyanna’ world they have a healthy balanced approach towards life.

Are you a realistic optimist? Share your experience!

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Reducing Stress

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Reducing Stress

Here are some tips for reducing stress

Be prepared

Prepare as much in advance. This can be cooking, cleaning, shopping or decorating will ease the load

Perspective

Keep things in perspective

 When something causes you stress,

ask yourself ‘Does this really matter?’

Minimise stressful situations when possible,

if you don’t like to have too many people in your home during this time, limit the number who can come.

Say No

Don’t be afraid to no. You are in control of what is happening in your life.

Take a Break

Even if its 10 minutes for a coffee, taking time out for you will make you feel refreshed

Breath deeply

Practice breathing deeply.

Exercise

relieves stress, gets rid of negative feelings and improves your fitness.

What tips have you got for reducing stress? Tell me about a time you were under stress and how you dealt with it.

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net